MB;BS means is a Latin acronym for Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery (Medicinae Baccalaureus Baccalaureus Chirurgiae); recognized internationally and equivalent to the MBChB, MD (Doctor of Medicine) degree awarded by British or European schools.
After (6+X) years in Medical school – where x is the number of added years either due to strike, accreditation or the school’s syllabus – the name of the school is usually added as a suffix after your degree. “MB;BS Lagos” for University of Lagos graduates, “MB;BS Ibadan” for University of Ibadan graduates, “MB;BS Zaria” for Ahmadu Bello University graduates and so on. “MB;BS Vrykolakas” represent medical doctors – especially the older ones – who finished from different universities and decided to take extra courses on “vampirism”.
Vrykolakas is a word used across central and southeastern Europe to describe deadly creatures of folklore – harmful to humans – also known as Vampires, or can be likened to Zombies and Werewolves.
If you have seen “Vampire diaries”, “True blood” or “The Originals”, inasmuch as you enjoyed the shows, you think in your heart of hearts that they do not exist. I mean, how could vampires exist? Seemingly, normal humans who prey and feed off the blood of humans. Such a phenomenon is unheard of and not at all possible. I have news for you; Vampires are real.
“They’re usually not the cape-wearing, “mwah-hah-hah-ing” types, but rather people with ordinary jobs who just happen to consume blood.” – Marissa Fessenden.
How to recognize MB;BS Vrykolakas:
– They usually start their stories with “in my time”. Most of the time, no good thing ever ensued when a medical elder or senior colleague starts a story with “in my time”. They had every single comfort you could think of in their time but fail to even give their young and upcoming colleagues – who don’t have the same privileges – any leeway. A month ago before I moved into my ‘accommodation’ which I was given by my place of work (Place of Primary Assignment), I met no bed in the room so I asked my employer who was also a doctor the way forward. He replied thus: “What did you do with your internship money? In my time I bought all these things for myself and fixed my whole apartment”. I was exasperated.
– In their ill attempt at advising you, they say “Keep your head down, if you work hard, you won’t be as rich but you will be comfortable”. Healthcare is so expensive in Nigeria and yet the forerunners are not supposed to aim high but be comfortable? Comfortability, that is one chronic illness from penury and a life of misery. When you hear someone say this, just avoid the person and run for your life.
– “Do your own bit, you can change things when you get there”. At first glance, it looks like they believe in you and expect you to work hard towards changing the whole medical sphere especially in Nigeria. But it is all a façade.
They know they’d never relinquish power and you’ll struggle trying to circumvent the roadblocks to power that they themselves have placed in front of you to prevent you from getting to where they are.
– “You can do it in the meantime”, “Experience is more important than money”, “Workload is light”. These are the worst of them all. Last week, a senior colleague – who is a fellow Medical officer – needed me to take his shift at a clinic where we both work as he is preparing for exams. It is a 6 hour shift and since I was already familiar with the workings of the clinic, it was easy-peasy. He offered me N2500 for the whole shift as work is not as tedious on the day and a doctor coming from outside would most likely refuse the money. The only reason I didn’t trade words or speak offensively to him was because the job was offered by proxy. He offered my colleague but she was busy so he told her to give me the details. Every medical officer has probably given similar offers with the exact description and even worse.
One does not know exactly when these people turn into these fearful creatures. They fought against and are probably still fighting against the system but became the very people they despised. By fighting monsters, they became monsters and the cycle continued…
Way forward?
– Resist them, don’t settle for their meagre funds because if no one is accepting the offers, they’d be forced to come up higher.
– You can be a doctor, have vacations, have a good life and not just a “comfortable” one. Medicine in Nigeria is obviously not as profitable for new doctors, so the goal is to seek it elsewhere. There are different pathways so information is paramount.
– Don’t become them.
About Author:
Dr Orims is a Medical Officer, passionate about his profession and Public Health while enjoying the good life.
