Donald was distraught! He had his wife’s phone in his hands and he couldn’t stop the tears. As a rule, he rarely checked her phone, but this evening, he had used it to receive a call, while she stepped into the shower. As the call dropped, a WhatsApp notification came in that took him by surprise. The message read “Hi babe” but the sender’s name was saved as “Drycleaner”… “Ah! Drycleaner ke?!”
His curiosity got the better of him and he opened the chat. The next few lines he read made his legs weak, getting him to stagger towards the bed and he shrieked out in pain when his eyes fell on the line, “How’s my daughter today?” He locked the bathroom door from the outside and scrolled up, to see that his wife had sent this “drycleaner” a picture of their daughter when she was born almost 4 months ago. He opened his own WhatsApp chat and realized that when he got the same picture, it was a forwarded message that he was too excited to notice at the time. He also realized that she informed him of her delivery 45 minutes after informing the “drycleaner” and also discovered that their daughter’s middle name was a name Mr. Drycleaner suggested…
In Nigeria, it’s quite a commonplace to always want to resort into laughing out loud when we read such stories or come across certain reports on the media, and sometimes wonder if it offers a form of comedic for nationals of other countries, with them passing comments like, “Oh, its Nigeria again!”. A sad fact is, Nigeria or Nigerians always gets to be in the news one way or another – Sometimes for good, and sometimes (and most of these times though) not for good. A senior friend once said, “as long as its bad news or an unpalatable occurrences, naija no de carry last”.
There are 195 countries in the world, and Nigeria often rank quite high when it comes to certain things just as pointed above, and one of such is being ranked 2nd highest in paternity fraud in the world. Likewise, experts have inferred that 3 out of 10 men in Nigeria are victims of paternity fraud, and this is the statistics from reported cases alone, as many cases remain unreported and unaccounted for. Although, when talking about fraud generally in Nigeria, cases of advanced fee fraud, 419, or “hushpuppy-ness” have been more rampant, and seeing the country rank so high in paternity fraud also is alarming. However, another angle to it is, fraud is fraud (regardless the type), hence we should not be surprised of our ranking on this fraud list also.
Paternity fraud in Nigeria is the pretence that a certain Nigerian man is the legitimate and biological father of a child. This usually occurs when a woman deliberately misidentifies a man as the biological and legitimate father of her child. However, this act is not new, it is almost as old as man. One scenario documented far back as the Bible days can be found in “1 Kings 3:16-28”, where King Solomon had to rule between two women, of which one of them appeared to perpetuate paternity fraud and this was the first big test of King Solomon’s wisdom.
Nevertheless, how did we get here? why is this so? Especially in a country with huge religious and cultural institutions on fidelity and mutual trust amongst couples… From my findings, the causes can be narrowed down to just two broad reasons which are: recklessness and desperation, with the latter being the commoner of the two. Eventually, recklessness is secondary to desperation.
Lets take a look at the story of John, Jane and Josh. John and Jane had been married for a few years and had ardently tried to get a child but all to no avail. They had visited hospitals and were deemed clinically fit, so they decided to keep trying, praying, hoping and holding on to each other. However, after about 5 years, Jane took in and they were delighted that their desires would soon be made reality. After 9 months, Jane put to bed and everyone was expectedly excited. Until one day, Josh appeared at the door and said he couldn’t allow another man take care of his daughter and would want to take her along with him.
Apparently, Jane had become apprehensive and then desperate with her childlessness – according to her, “had to do what she needed to do” – which resulted in her having an affair with Josh. However, she thought she had come to an agreement with Josh, such that although he knew he was the biological father of her child, he’d play along with her to deceive John. Forever. Why Josh then chose to renege on this, well, is one question still hanging. Of course, John became very devastated and had to separate from Jane, who eventually moved in with Josh.
These stories never end well and are usually with dire consequences. Another example, is the story of a man who realized when he was in his 60’s that “his kids” were not his kids. These were kids he had heavily invested in; sent them to crème de la crème schools in the UK, and set them up nicely for life, only for the sad truth to rear its ugly head 36 years and 3 kids after. He ultimately had what’s known as a Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or otherwise known as the ‘’broken-heart syndrome’’.
The kids also do not get to have a nice experience themselves, as it becomes hard to come to terms with the fact that the person they had known and called father all their lives was actually not their father, and that their whole lives had been a lie. The relationship with their mother also gets strained, as she may not be able to point them to whom their biological father is, or that he may be dead or just out of reach. The situation sometimes becomes too tense for the woman and some resort to self-harm. It is really not a pretty scenario at all.
Now, you’d agree that a number of things have been established. These include that the rate of paternity fraud in Nigeria is high, the trauma at discovery of such acts is severe, and it has dire consequences on all the people involved. Likewise, the reasons these happen cannot be over-emphasized, especially due to the recklessness and desperation of the woman.
The woman because – except in unprecedented cases of gang-rape – a woman almost always knows the father of her child, and paternity is confirmed when a man acknowledges that he put a woman “in the family way”. Sometimes, a woman can get impregnated by her husband or partner who is fertile and in reality have no candid reason to engage in infidelity (also the man), but like we have established, recklessness. Some claim not to enjoy sex with their husbands, and others decide to just want to keep “testing microphones”. While for some others, after waiting to birth a child for a while (usually a long period of time with heated pressure from every angle) without success, are either ill-advised or taking the sole decision to “test” her fertility elsewhere to firstly prove her fertility, and secondly, to save her marriage (especially when she’s been told that she is fit medically). This is where desperation, and maybe recklessness comes in. Another form of desperation is seen when a woman “patronizes” a baby factory. This is usually perpetuated by women who know they are the cause of their inability to conceive, then proceed to deceive the husband with a false pregnancy, and appear after 9 months with a “purchased” baby.
Paternity fraud has also been recorded to be perpetuated by medical staff, especially midwives, where there’s a deliberate switch of babies on the ward, sometimes at the request or pre-arrangement with a desperate and/or reckless mother. A classic example is the rumoured case of a Zambian Nurse who confessed on her dying bed that she swapped about 5000 babies during the course of her career.
So, how is fraud discovered and confirmed? Well, just as seen in the stories shared above, “fathers” involved get to know the truth mostly by a “stroke of fate”. Some, having lived with the deceit and lies till the children are grown and maybe at a point of doing one or two serologic tests or needing to donate bodily fluids or organs for one reason or the other, they get slammed with the news that theirs doesn’t match with the children’s. Some even want to relocate abroad and the mandatory DNA testing at the airport gives the truth away. Initially, it sound preposterous, the man is thrown into grief (as evidenced by a stage of denial) but eventually wears off with time as the proven truth unravels. Sometimes, the woman makes it easy and comes clean, with a lot of pleading and all, but sometimes, while in that phase of denial, the man would need to find out the truth discreetly. This then brings in DNA testing.
A DNA test is a genetic test, where the DNA of an individual is extracted from samples of body cells like blood, hair, saliva, etc., and examined to establish certain factors – as in this case, to determine the paternity of a child. Sometimes, the DNA testing is done on more than one child, and many a time, men have been devastated with the news of 2 or more children – he’d grown to love, train and adore – to not be his.
Then, the next question comes up: What measures can be put in place to bottle the “evil” of paternity fraud and its effects on the society? Sincerely, for a long while, I was stuck to this point because unlike other social issues, paternity fraud remains a moral one – where the actions of people cannot be predicted. In the story of John and Jane above, it caught 99% of people by surprise because Jane was said to be a quiet and reserved wife who appeared not to be able to hurt a fly. But then, desperation.
The truth is, some of these women get a slice of pity and reason because, for majority of marriages in Nigeria, happiness in the marriage is hinged on the birth, number and even gender of children. Sometimes, these women even become depressed after being barren for a length of time, or being berated for not birthing a particular gender, and this pushes their desperation to “do something”. But still, this “something” done comes with terrible and painful consequences for a lot of people, and as such, can not be excused or condoned. Keeping in mind that paternity fraud is not a criminal offence in Nigeria and has no legislation anywhere in the world standing against it.
From the medical angle, advocacies for genotype compatibility testing before marriage and tests for HIV/AIDS, have been seen to improve people’s informed decisions – which goes to make or mar their lifetime. Likewise, if there’s a form of legislative advocacy that compels women to allow a DNA testing after birthing a child – to confirm paternity, it may reduce the rate of paternity fraud.
However, thoughts from some medical colleagues brought the realization that paternity fraud remains a moral and interpersonal family issue, where the doctor or government have no say or should look away unless invited to intervene. Also, there was the argument that scientific methods cannot be exactly used to sort out a socio-moral issue, and even if the mandatory DNA testing would work, as sad as it sounds, some people would still find a way around it. Another reason this idea might not be viable is the cost of a DNA testing. This shows how much it takes to one test, and it is enough to discourage the idea, especially for those who may not want to. However, my labs offer these services at more affordable rates.
Furthermore, the effectiveness of trying to legislatively control paternity fraud in Nigeria could be quite doubtful, and DNA testing should be optional and left for the “father” involved to decide. Then, there’s also the attitude of “let sleeping dogs lie” in most families affected. The idea is to let the matter die within the family and the “father” admonished to lay it all on the altar of forgiveness. It rarely works anyways, because most men end up deeply hurt and wanting to get their own pound of flesh.
Now, following several thought processes, discussions and researches, we can then come to the conclusion that paternity fraud – just like other vices in the country and around the world today – can only be curbed if people get to rethink their choices and actions, especially when they are aware it could cause harm to their very close relatives. We all need to improve our morality and good standing as a people to achieve this.
Also couples or the women involved should be able to discuss and come to an agreement to adopt children if they cannot conceive or carry theirs. Adoption should be an option that should be made attractive, as this would reduce the desperation to get biological children. The society should also refrain from carrying the affairs of couples “on their head”, hereby reducing the societal pressure of getting kids or a particular gender of child.
The effects of paternity fraud are profound, and all hands are to be put on deck to mitigate these effects and make the society a better place to live in.
NB: Donald, John, Jane and Josh are not real names, for privacy sake.
References:
Why is paternity fraud high in Nigeria? The answer to this is complex
…Three out of ten Nigerian men are not biological fathers of their children…
Paternity Fraud and the Upsurge In DNA Testing
The Rise Of Paternity Fraud In Nigeria — Why We Should Be Worried
Paternity Fraud: How to Avoid It? – Your Not The Father
About Author:
Oluwatobi Ogunlade is a Civic Leader, and Medical Doctor, with interests in Tech and Emergency Psychiatry. He is a firm believer that changing the world requires taking one right step at a time. He is an avid reader and writer, freelancer, amateur guitarist, and primigenial TechBro. He writes from Lagos, Nigeria.
